Last night was another night greeted with interrupted sleep which, of course, led to a lack of sleep. I peeled my eyelids open, dreading the day that was to come. My head hurt, my attitude stunk and I just wanted my husband to stay home so I didn’t have to get out of bed.

The last few days have been particularly hard because we have been stuck inside a lot. We have only one vehicle at the moment and paired with the cold, the kids have been at each other more than usual. The days have been filled with tantrums, fighting, and boredom. Just pure chaos. This morning, I was done.

As I got out of bed, I could hear my sweet little boy melting down in his room. How am I going to muster the strength? I don’t want to be gracious. I don’t want to guide him. Surely, there must be a limit to being kind and gentle. Surely I was entitled to be snappy this morning, but, praise God, the Holy Spirit sang a different tune to my heart.

God is not surprised by your circumstances. He knew I would be sleep deprived. He still calls us to walk in a manner worthy of holiness. He knew that my children would be testy today. He still calls us to walk in a manner worthy of holiness. He knew the unfinished tasks of yesterday would tempt me to be overwhelmed (which I was). He still calls us to walk in a manner worthy of holiness. He knew depression would creep into my mind. He still calls us to walk in a manner worthy of holiness.

Our circumstances are never an excuse to sin. Sinning, no matter what the reason is, is deplorable. Praise God that through His Son Jesus, He can be so eager to forgive us. However, we are not entitled to sin.

My friend shared a beautiful quote with me the other day, “The Christian walk is not about growing in independence from God rather, growing in dependence on Him.”

God gives us these opportunities not to crush us but to show us we are not enough. We are not strong enough, we are not made to function independently from Him. These circumstances give us opportunity to cling to Him. To deny ourselves our natural reactions and to cling to Him to receive strength, wisdom, patience, grace, etc., so we can walk in a manner worthy of holiness.

So, as my little boy threw his tantrum this morning, the Lord stopped me and reminded me that the reaction I was going to have would have a lasting impact. Would I choose to indulge in self-centeredness which leads to death or would I choose to depend on Him, the way that leads to everlasting? He was and is so faithful to sustain and provide. Depend on Him and He will lead us through every valley.