Social media is well known for being a space where the highlights of your life can be viewed and enjoyed by loved ones, friends, and strangers alike. Platforms allow space for you to curate the life that you want others to perceive. Very recently, people, especially women, have begun to cut against this grain by creating spaces for others to feel seen in the everyday moments. The good, the ugly, the beautiful, the raw expression of life that was being left out from the typical “perfection” accounts.

I love that there is now a space for people to go to feel seen. A place to go where you can stand in unity with someone else who understands what you are going through. It’s kind of beautiful to feel that sense of community where it may be lacking. However, it now seems that the pendulum has swung too far the other way.

Where we once fell to the temptation of presenting as perfect, it seems that we have now completely fallen to the temptation of identifying with other people. As a result, we seem to have become stagnant in our strivings for growing in holiness. We’ve given into the liberating feeling that comes when our struggles are brought to the light and have stopped there. I think it is so necessary to acknowledge our struggles, but instead of taking them to the to the Lord, it feels that we have begun to create this vicious cycle of seeking validation from others in order to feel the high of being included and seen.

Don’t get me wrong, again, there is a place to feel seen. There are many points in the Bible where God sees us. David writes how God sees our weak frame (Psalm 103:14), He sees our tears when the world doesn’t (Psalm 56:8), in Hannah’s desires for a child or Hagar’s injustices against Sara we see where He sees our pain and our struggles, He says even the things we keep in the dark are visible to Him (Hebrews 4:13). He sees who we are and He is merciful and gracious. However, much like Jesus’s confrontation with Mary’s adultery, He doesn’t desire for us to stay hidden behind these things, He forgives and says sin no more.

My point is, maybe we enjoy being seen and have left out where He says, now sin no more. Abide in Me. Strive to be holy as I am holy. It’s a wonderful thing to stop hiding, but it’s an even lovelier thing to come into the light and identify with the One true God and not the circumstance or the sin that we have been hiding.

Need some help, I know I do:

Live By God’s Standard

Do you often feel like you are using social media or other influencers to validate your sin or circumstances? It’s incredibly easy to do, and it feels great to think, “Thank, God, I’m not alone,” or even “At least I’m not as bad as so and so or I’m handling that better that that person so I must be doing something right.” This way of thinking may be encouraging for a little while, but these people cannot provide to you any true motivation for growth. Remember, man can never be the source of your strivings. It’s not our goal in life to be seen or to be better than that guy over there. Our goal is to die to self and continue to grow in holiness through the work of sanctification.

Immerse yourself in God’s Word

This is the best way to know what God’s standard even is. If you are not immersed in God’s Word, there is absolutely no way to stay on course. There is no basis for truth, no understanding of a sustaining identity, and no foundation for true healing and growth. It’s like being swept out to sea with no anchor. You leave yourself vulnerable to lining your life up with another sinners instead of leaning into the God who made you. There is no sustaining hope in this path. Do not create for yourself an idol, but stay on the course of striving to reflect Christ.

Get Off Social Media and Get Plugged into a Local Church

The thing about identifying with other people online is that this creates a false community. Like I said, we need a space to feel seen and to stop running from the light. A safe place to allow people in. God created that space. It’s called the local church. Perhaps, the internet seems like a safe place because you may be less likely to be hurt, to feel betrayed. I totally get that. Church hurt is a real thing. However, seeking your community on online platforms will leave you empty because there is no true form of human connection. Continue seeking for fellow Christians who are all striving to the same goal. These are the people who aren’t afraid to hold space for the messy but also love you enough to not let you sit in the messy. Remember the messy is not your home, eternity with Christ is.

Spend Time in Prayer

Surrender your struggles and sins to the only One who can redeem and heal. Giving space to speak to God not only allows space to be seen by God but it also encourages a deeper unity with Him. When we get in the habit of running to Him with our flaws or hard circumstances, we open the door to deepening our dependency on Him. Which, contrary to what the world teaches, is exactly how God made us, to be dependent on Him. Prayer allows space for self-examination which is necessary for the repentance of sins and redemption. Prayer also allows a more intimate setting to be seen by our Creator. We want Him to see our brokenness because He is the only One who can heal. He is eager to redeem and heal because if He wasn’t, He would not have given us His Beloved.

So to the mom who, perhaps, blows up on her kids more than she’d like, God sees you. To the mom who, perhaps, is navigating motherhood alone while working through wounds left by her own childhood, God sees you. To the mom who, perhaps, is doing everything in her strength just to put a bowl of cereal on the table for her kids, God sees you. To the one who feels like you can’t get anything together and life seems to be falling apart all around you, God sees you. Don’t doom scroll social media to be found, lean into Him. Know that you are absolutely not alone. We serve a compassionate King who desires to continue to heal and redeem you. Stop living to be seen by those who are on the internet, but continue to push in your strivings to grow in holiness because that is where the thriving is found. It’s where healing is found. It’s where true life is found.